Jan. 20th, 2013

apocalypsesweet: From Little Miss Sunshine, a close up of Dwayne's notepad that says 'Please don't kill yourself tonight' (I won't)
Last night was bad, as was today. Last night, I could not sleep. I was tired, I could doze, but I could not enter actual sleep. I supposed it was because my stomach was upset and it was keeping me up despite my best efforts to settle it (Which I was able to do at 5 am and sleep for the next four hours)

I went to church, people questioned me on the Suicide. How come no one told them? What was going on? I had to tell them that everything was being secretive with us thanks to the Suicide's daughter. But I did go to help clean out the apartment, in which I cried and also got something I considered important.

A watch and a bible. Both of sentimental value and both I now have stored away safely at my parent's house- which I am sure the Suicide's daughter would not approve of. But my father got upset because I wouldn't give him the watch, even though I knew he would put it where it would be safe because I was worried if I handed it over the Daughter would try and take back the watch and bible.

My brother and family told me, once everyone calmed down, that Dad was just hurt and he apologized to me. Finally, after I missed work because of my nerves. I am not on medication because my brain is functioning at 100%, I am on medication because I am crazy paranoid, that I am depressed and filled with anxiety.

But, I had to miss work, I spilled the story of what was happening and Job 1 told me to go home and take care of personal business. Which I did, and now, I am licking my wounds.


apocalypsesweet: From the Virgin Suicides, a pair of bandaged wrists covered in bracelets. (Default)
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